They say not to drink the water but…

BradleyFood, Life in the Philippines6 Comments

… I must have messed up, because I had some serious problems over the last two days.

We’ve had a lot of work going on around the house, including work we’ve been doing ourselves.  I’ve been pretty exhausted and getting sick on top of it really wore me out.

All of these things combined to create a disaster that ruined a bag full of noodles.  If you’re eating, you should save this for later.

So, it was early morning and there I was, sitting on the toilet having a problem.  After I was done, I had another problem.  The pipes are kinda screwy here so the toilet clogged. There’s no running water right now because of a drought so dumping water into the bowl is the only option. I couldn’t get it right so I just left it that way and passed out again.  That evening, I was in there trying to wash up and mess with the toilet at the same time when I felt an urge.

A serious urge.

With no toilet available (due to the damn thing still being clogged) I made a mad dash through the house, naked and covered with soap mind you, and grabbed the first plastic shopping bag I saw, which I assumed was hanging on a doorknob for placing garbage in.

I then ran back to the toilet and handled business.  It’s not the weirdest thing I’ve done.  I’ve utilized empty boxes in the middle of the desert in Iraq before, so why not?  Better than the other alternative.

So anyway, the next day my wife came and asked me if I’d seen the noodles she bought at the grocery store.  I said I hadn’t so we looked around quite a bit.  I’m pretty sure no one stole the noodles, though she does have hungry brothers that roam the house occasionally.

Then it dawned on me.

After I finished laughing like a hyena I felt bad because I had really wanted to try some of those noodles.  Not to mention my wife was pissed.  But you know… shit happens.

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6 Comments on "They say not to drink the water but…"

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Brad F.
She was only angry for a while. I think it was just to show her disappointment at my carelessness, but it was so funny that when I mention it now she laughs and it's turning into a catch-phrase around here: “Don't shit on my noodles again.” I managed to get the toilet working again so it shouldn't be a problem from now on. Plumbing in the Philippines is a bit tricky in general, especially since they were designed to accommodate toilet paper. People here use their hand, some soap and a dipper of water instead. My American ways are destroying… Read more »
Brad F.

That pretty much summed it up, ya. ^_^

Darnell Clayton

LOL! That is hilarious! I hope your wife forgives you for that! Perhaps next time grab a spare bag on the side or dig a hole. 🙂

NiVleK

LOL!!!

Shit really happened!

rinaz

Urgh!

Brad F.

Exactly, and it happened a few more times, but with less unfortunate results, other than dehydration. I really wish I knew what it was that got me. I'm also just getting over a sinus cold. I always seem to get sick when I come to the Philippines, but I guess it makes sense, since it's a separate island. Different viruses here.

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